Sheldon's Story

Part I

Dying is easy. It’s the “living” part that’s hard.

Everybody knows about death and dying, even if they don’t know exactly when or where they’re going to die. Maybe they’ll be old, maybe they’ll be young. Maybe they’ll die accidentally, maybe on purpose. Maybe they’ll die quickly, maybe not.

Not everybody knows about life and living, even if they have their dreams and prayers. What we want isn’t always what we get. Other things like Karma, Fate, Destiny, and Luck keep getting in the way of our thinking and our planning. We simply cannot predict the future, no matter how hard we try. And we keep trying.

Sheldon was one of those guys that rode passenger through life, looking for the good driver to trust, lucky charms in his pocket and around his neck, hoping for the best ride of his life. He let the steer him until he was in his mid-thirties. He let his lucky charms guide his opportunities. And Sheldon kept hoping for the best to somehow happen in his life.

When I met him, I considered him the best story teller I had ever heard. I still do. His winding words held his audiences captive and on the very edge of their seats. He spun tales that poked at our hearts and imaginations. His stories were obscene and hairy; they were hot and wet; they went straight up and they were bright red. He amazed us. He entertained us. He enlightened us and he thrilled us. The girls... they adored him. And the boys..., well, we respected him. All within earshot thought of the world differently because of him. We couldn’t take our eyes off of him. Sheldon was cool.

Unknown to most people, including himself, Sheldon became one of the best engine builders and mechanics of his time. He came up building motors, putting them in cars, and making them work. His engines were built from parts and pieces. He started by boring the block cylinders and then he went from there. Part by part, piece by piece, slowly and patiently, painstakingly, precisely, and naturally, he built those babies like they were his own flesh and blood. By the time he was done, and the engine was fitted into the car, his craft had become an art form. His motors spun like tops, and his cars went real, real fast. They howled like the wind. They were scary, and they were fucking beautiful.

Wasted Smiles

I guess when three million people live on top of each other, and not a single one of them has faith in their own system, some things get lost in the shuffle and fall into the cracks. Things like please and thank you, holding the door for someone, coming to a full stop to allow a really old lady cross the street, waiting in line... things like that... they get lost. People forget about them. Or, better yet, their values shift. What they once thought was important no longer is.

There really isn't enough time to practice classroom values when three million people who have no faith in their own system are breathing down your back. You should hurry up, pal, and get out of their way, pal. You should quit wasting their time, pal. You should just take care of your business, pal.

Even surrounded by that negative energy for the last four years, I can still spot an American a mile away in this clusterfuck of three million whose values have shifted away from their teaching and preaching. Heck, I was in a supermarket near my house just last week and two walked by me and I knew who they were, and how far away from home they were. Wanna know how? I'll tell you how I can tell. I can tell by the way they walk. I can tell by the looks in their eyes. They act differently. They have different auras.

Now I shared something with them that they also shared with me. We shared it together, even if it was for a fleeting moment. This little something we shared bonded us immediately and we both knew who we were. Nothing needed to be said, we both just knew. We shared a common courtesy that we both grew up with and decided to keep well into our adulthood.

It still amazes me after these years just how far this common courtesy will go. It still amazes me how good I felt after giving it and then receiving it with those Americans in the supermarket by my house.

I will share it with you when we meet because we both still think it is important. Sadly, I don't share it with those who won't do anything to build their own faith in their own system, because they don't think it is important. I quit sharing this important-to-me courtesy with them. I got tired of realizing that with them, they were just wasted smiles.

Dialog

"I have something to tell you that you aren't going to like."
"Hmmm. OK. Tell me."
"No, I don't think I should."
"I think you should, and I think you should right now."
"No, I think I'll tell you later."
"Please don't play this game with me. You know I don't like it. Just tell me."
"Promise you won't get mad?"
"No."
"Then I better not tell you."
"Why are you screwing around with me like that?"
"Don't get mad. You always get mad when I try to talk to you."
"I'm not mad. I'm frustrated by this game."
"What game?"

"Just tell me, ok?"
"OK. I am going to work with my dad at night, from 8:00 p.m. until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning."
"Why do you want to do that? You know how he is."
"What do you mean 'how he is'? Besides, we need the money."
"Do we? I didn't know that. I thought we were doing all right. Isn't the hotel doing well?"
"The hotel is doing fine. We are selling a lot of rooms. It's just that I think we need the money."
"I'm making good money at the school and you're doing all right at the hotel. Why do we need the money?"
"OK. We don't need the money. I just want the money."
"How much is he going to pay you? What do you have to do?"
"I go there and stop the stealing and make sure everybody is doing their job. He's going to pay me $200 a week."
"How many nights a week?"
"Every night."
"Every night for six or seven hours for $200 a week? As soon as you walk in there, you'll save him $200 a night. He can pay you better than that."
"No, it's OK. It really isn't about the money. He needs my help."


"I understand he needs help. He's surrounded himself with drug addicts, hookers, beggars, and thieves. And he pays them jack shit. Hell, even his own sons fall into one or more of those categories. I bet he needs help."
"So you're not mad?"
"I'm not mad. I'm worried."
"Oh, don't worry. I'll be safe."
"I'm not worried about you being safe. I know you're going to be safe."

"I'm worried that you and I already don't spend enough time together, and now you are going to start working nights, too. You'll be asleep when I get up, and I'll be asleep when you get home. We won't ever see each other."
"Oh, don't worry about that."
"I am worried. I don't want that to happen. I want us to spend more time together. We don't already and if you start working there, it won't be good for us."
"You can come with me. We can spend time there."
"That's not what I mean. We won't be spending time together. You'll be working with drunks and hookers, and I'll just be watching. It's just not the same."
"So you don't want me to help my father, that's what you're saying..."
"I'm saying that we won't ever see each other if you do."
"Are you telling me I can't?"
"No, I'm not. I don't like the idea at all and I'm asking you not to do it."
"Well, I'm going to do it anyway. We need the money."
"I wish you wouldn't."
"Awww. Don't be that way! You worry too much about stupid things."
"No, I don't."

10 Things I want know about you

You asked me for 10 things I would want to do, and that got me thinking along these lines. These are ten I meant to find out about you before we left each other. I know it's a little late now, but if you could find a way to tell me, I would still love to know.

1. What's the longest time you've ever gone without sleep?
2. What's your favorite school supply?
3. What's your favorite tree? Your favorite bird? Your favorite flower?
4. Can you describe something that happened to you that you can't explain?
5. Who do you ask for advice?
6. What did you do on your 13th birthday?
7. If you could have a super-power, what would it be?
8. What is the best costume you've ever worn?
9. Where do you go when you want absolute peace and quiet?
10. What is the most memorable class you've ever taken?