(sung to the tune of My Favorite Things)
Blockheads and boneheads and dimwits and dipshits,
Dumbbells, imbeciles and ninnies and nitwits
Birdbrains and dipsticks, idiots and twerps…
These are a few of my favorite words!
Dopes, dunces, dunderheads, turkeys and fatheads
Lamebrains and lightweights, morons and muttonheads,
Pinheads and jackasses, numbskulls and jerks…
These are a few of my favorite words!!
Assholes and asshats and dimbulbs and dumbshits,
Ignorant suckers, hardheads and halfwits,
Simpletons, shitheads, nincompoops nerds…
These are a few of my favorite words!!!
When they’re beyond hope,
When they’re all turds,
When I’m getting mad…
I simply start saying my favorite words
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Which fools? Those fools?
What a fool cannot learn he laughs at, thinking that by his laughter he shows superiority instead of latent idiocy.
I've noticed a lot lately... seems like more and more... that when I ask someone something, and they don't know the answer to my question, they'll act like what I want to know can't be that important, or is very trivial, or that I'm stupid for even wanting to know. The reason I've noticed this lately, is that there are some people who will go as far to mock me immediately after I ask the question.
"What the hell do you want to know that for?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know something like THAT?"
"That's not important."
"Tch. You must be joking."
Hey, dipshit. Let me assure you that I'm not joking. It seems my only real mistake has been expecting an idiot like you to have any real knowledge about anything at all. I should have known better, and I know better now. So thank you very mucho. Now fuck off.
This actually reminds me to make a couple of adjustments to a couple of hard-learned lessons:
Lesson #1. Be nice to all little things, regardless of their level of idiocy.
Lesson #2. Keep your distance from living things that are meaner than you. That now includes me.
I've noticed a lot lately... seems like more and more... that when I ask someone something, and they don't know the answer to my question, they'll act like what I want to know can't be that important, or is very trivial, or that I'm stupid for even wanting to know. The reason I've noticed this lately, is that there are some people who will go as far to mock me immediately after I ask the question.
"What the hell do you want to know that for?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know something like THAT?"
"That's not important."
"Tch. You must be joking."
Hey, dipshit. Let me assure you that I'm not joking. It seems my only real mistake has been expecting an idiot like you to have any real knowledge about anything at all. I should have known better, and I know better now. So thank you very mucho. Now fuck off.
This actually reminds me to make a couple of adjustments to a couple of hard-learned lessons:
Lesson #1. Be nice to all little things, regardless of their level of idiocy.
Lesson #2. Keep your distance from living things that are meaner than you. That now includes me.
Dan Bong
Dan Bong (short stick)
The Dan Bong measures from the user’s elbow to anywhere between the wrist and where the pinky finger connects to the hand. Any longer, speed and flexibility is lost, any shorter and reach is lost. The Dan Bong is best made out of lacquered bamboo with a diameter of about one inch. It has a hole drilled through it about 2-3 knuckles from the end to allow for a cord loop. The loop’s length is just long enough to allow the Dan Bong to be passed over the thumb, then over the back of the hand, then into the hand proper, leaving the butt end of the Dan Bong protruding from the base of the hand.
Although short and consequently unimpressive, the Dan Bong is a complete defensive and offensive system. One Dan Bong can break a bone, poke a hole in a liver, temple, thorax, or solar plexus. It can be used for leverage on wrists, elbows, and shoulders, and for strikes straight end and butt end on pressure points. One will tangle up a pair of nunchakus, and two can successfully stop a long or medium stick. I believe a lot of its power is due to its perceived impotence, so do not underestimate this little bastard. It the right hands, it will crack your coconut wide open.
The Dan Bong measures from the user’s elbow to anywhere between the wrist and where the pinky finger connects to the hand. Any longer, speed and flexibility is lost, any shorter and reach is lost. The Dan Bong is best made out of lacquered bamboo with a diameter of about one inch. It has a hole drilled through it about 2-3 knuckles from the end to allow for a cord loop. The loop’s length is just long enough to allow the Dan Bong to be passed over the thumb, then over the back of the hand, then into the hand proper, leaving the butt end of the Dan Bong protruding from the base of the hand.
Although short and consequently unimpressive, the Dan Bong is a complete defensive and offensive system. One Dan Bong can break a bone, poke a hole in a liver, temple, thorax, or solar plexus. It can be used for leverage on wrists, elbows, and shoulders, and for strikes straight end and butt end on pressure points. One will tangle up a pair of nunchakus, and two can successfully stop a long or medium stick. I believe a lot of its power is due to its perceived impotence, so do not underestimate this little bastard. It the right hands, it will crack your coconut wide open.
Just Curious...
The local open market that I enjoy and frequent is in Sunday down in the big market district. I go when I can or when it's time to get more fruit and vegetables.
One of the stands there displays cantaloupe and honeydew melons and they're huge and juicy and fresh and very inexpensive. The girls that work there selling the melons are built like brick outhouses, and, from what I can perceive, pretty much the same in all other regards.
Every time I visit the stand, (which is always), I can't help but thinking, "Nice melons," and I always wonder exactly how that translates into Spanish.
One of the stands there displays cantaloupe and honeydew melons and they're huge and juicy and fresh and very inexpensive. The girls that work there selling the melons are built like brick outhouses, and, from what I can perceive, pretty much the same in all other regards.
Every time I visit the stand, (which is always), I can't help but thinking, "Nice melons," and I always wonder exactly how that translates into Spanish.
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