A Little Life Lesson

My ex-boss was a real pain in the ass.

Whenever I had to make some important decisions, I always checked in with him, not to get his permission, but to make sure I was keeping him "in the loop" regarding my activities. I said, "Hey, we need to do such-and-such. Whaddya say?" His answer was always, "Hey, don't ask me if you can do something smart. Just do it and tell me later. That's what I am paying you to do. So go ahead, man. I have faith in you."

So I took the hint and proceeded with my plans as per his instructions. I went ahead and did what I knew I had to do without asking. And when I would do these things, his responses were always, "Hey what do you think you are doing? You need to check with me before you do anything to make sure it's alright. Got it?"

I know this little game he played. I know it well. It is a power-play. The game is designed to keep me off balance and make me second-guess myself, to make me unsure of myself, and to help me remember exactly who is in charge and exactly who has the power. His methods were childish and condescending at best. And life is too short to tolerate that much bullshit from anybody.

So I decided to play his game a little differently. After making all the necessary arrangements regarding my own personal affairs and keeping my priorities straight, I went ahead and took the matter into my own hands. I made a couple more smart decisions and, as a result, and exactly as planned, I got called onto the carpet.

After listening to him chew me out for the umpteenth time, I calmly told him when he was done chewing, "Hey Joe, I really need to hear your expertise on a really important matter. I have a real honest question for you. And I have been meaning to ask this question for a long time. I really need to know the truth."

"Go ahead and ask," he said. He had taken the bait.

I said, "My question is this. Why don't you just go and fuck yourself?"

As most of you well know, there is a huge difference between someone asking this question merely as a result of a lost temper, and someone who sincerely wants to know. The ones who sincerely want to know are usually working another job the very next day at twice the pay.

That's what I meant regarding my own personal affairs and keeping my priorities straight.